Holly was a bit sad when I dropped her off at school today. She is so like me, and it breaks my heart to see her not happy. Her little friend (that she has know since daycare) came back from 10 days holiday and all her group were delighted to see her. So they were excited and jumping around and being crazy. Holly held back, clung to me and said she didn’t want to go to school today. I see so much of her in me. I would have done the same. Kept away from the kids being so enthusiastically excited in case I got ignored or rejected – preferring to reject myself to save face. But is she saving face, or just sending a message to those kids that she doesn’t want to play with them, or that she isn’t fun and doesn’t like them. She wants so badly to be in with them, but wants them coming to her and not the other way around.

Finding your place in friendship groups is hard. I think Holly thought she knew her place – as this girls friend for years, the best friend, the priority. But it seems that others are getting in on that and pushing her out. She does have other little friends and I am trying to encourage her to play with them and get to know other kids. Life will continue its ups and downs within circles of friends and while no-one is being deliberately mean to her, some friendships click better than others and those one you can’t fight. I need to find a way to tell her that. I wish someone had told that to me – I still hang back and wait to be spoken to. Is that a fear of rejection or just being shy? Maybe both.

I love the quote “Some people come into our lives and quickly go, others stay awhile, leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever the same“. I hope that when the time is right, she finds a friend that stays with her forever and makes her believe that she is worth it.