Holly was a bit sad when I dropped her off at school today. She is so like me, and it breaks my heart to see her not happy. Her little friend (that she has know since daycare) came back from 10 days holiday and all her group were delighted to see her. So they were excited and jumping around and being crazy. Holly held back, clung to me and said she didn’t want to go to school today. I see so much of her in me. I would have done the same. Kept away from the kids being so enthusiastically excited in case I got ignored or rejected – preferring to reject myself to save face. But is she saving face, or just sending a message to those kids that she doesn’t want to play with them, or that she isn’t fun and doesn’t like them. She wants so badly to be in with them, but wants them coming to her and not the other way around.
Finding your place in friendship groups is hard. I think Holly thought she knew her place – as this girls friend for years, the best friend, the priority. But it seems that others are getting in on that and pushing her out. She does have other little friends and I am trying to encourage her to play with them and get to know other kids. Life will continue its ups and downs within circles of friends and while no-one is being deliberately mean to her, some friendships click better than others and those one you can’t fight. I need to find a way to tell her that. I wish someone had told that to me – I still hang back and wait to be spoken to. Is that a fear of rejection or just being shy? Maybe both.
I love the quote “Some people come into our lives and quickly go, others stay awhile, leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever the same“. I hope that when the time is right, she finds a friend that stays with her forever and makes her believe that she is worth it.
ahh a post straight to my heart!! Fran – maybe I’m a big softy but that quote got me tearing up!!! Maybe hit home a little – maybe hit on things that are my head at the moment.
I wish Holly – basicaly a friendship like the one that I see you and that crazy girl Rachie have. 🙂
You know I read once that we learn from our parents on how to develop friendships – I’m very much like my mother I could count her friends on one hand – and I can’t even find a person who is a friend with her now that has been since I was a child. I’m like my mum.
I could go on and on and I have no real thing I am trying to say here – you just hit on something in me on this post. waffeling ending in five seconds… one … two…. three… four…..five
God only knows I wouldnt have [still wouldnt] survive without you. For me it is being shy and I look at Zara and marvel at her, she is lucky she isnt like her Mummy and I feel terrible that Eric is.
I hope all or babies find a friendship that lasts 20 years, one where you dont have to walk into a room and fear but one where you are just looking for the face of your best friend oblivious to all other cows in the room!
Ah the joys of high school ladies and gentleman!
Love you lots but you KNOW that!
xxxx
P.S How does Peta know I am crazy?
Fran – You have spoken straight to my heart. You have stated how I was as a child and how I still quite often am.
It has only been in the last few years I have started to realise things about frindships one being that I would rather have a few close friends than many friendly associations.
R xoxo
I so love that quote….it is so true. Your little princess will be fine :0)
JULIEx
Lovely entry Fran. It spoke to me also. And I am a lot like all of you too. xxx
And by the way – Holly is gorgeous and I am sure she will find the friend/s she deserves. You are lucky to have it all in *one* friend – mine is in a few but I feel blessed all the same. (I’ll show you what I mean in a blog entry soon). x