Was thinking about a way to keep Julie in my memory and in my heart and came up with this plant called Canberra Bells.  It was picked to be the Commemorative plant for the Canberra Centenary, so perfect for the climate and perfect to commemorate Julie too.  I’m going to watch it grow and flower, and each time I see it I will think of her and her tinkling bell-like laugh.

RIP Jules xx

On 26th March I had a phone call telling that my best buddy Julie had suffered a Brain Aneurysm and was not expected to live.  That moment turned my safe little world upsidedown.  I raced to the hospital to see her in ICU.  She was not my Julie.  She was so black and blue from surgury, puffed up from swelling and so still and quiet that it barely seemed real.  I wanted her to open her eyes and smile and tell me that she was OK. ” Just Jokes Fran, I’m really fine”.  Her husband was there, her 4 children her extended fmaily each one going through their own personal sadness and worry.  Those little kids, so innocent and beautiful, not knowing if their mum was going to be OK.

While we waited for test results and any changes, I drew pictures with the kids to stick up around Julies bed.  We went for walks, took rides in the lift and gathered stickers from my office, which Jesse stuck up and down Julies arms.  Still she didn’t move or respond or open her eyes.

I held her hand, I willed her to be OK. I swore at her, begged her, sobbed on her chest.  Oh Julie.

Finally after 2 days of this, the doctors performed their last tests, they prepared for her organ donation and they announced the time of death.

The emptiness that I felt is hard to describe.  The complete sadness for those beautiful children without their mum.  My own desperate sadness for the loss of my best friend.  My running partner, my confidant, my secret keeper, my laugh a minute mate.  How could this even happen, how can it be true?

It is 6 weeks later now, and I am still shocked and full of grief.  I cry every day, wish for her texts or fully facebook comments.  I want to see her emails pop up in my inbox, hear her laugh, tell her something that happened.  I want to hear her stories, tidbits about work, the kids, her week, her feelings and thoughts and emotions. I need to talk to her so badly to help me sort out my stuff!  She was good at that.  I miss her so much.

God Bless you Jules.  Thank you for being my crazy, refreshing, honest friend.  For taking the time to be with me and nurture me.  For loving my kids and sharing yours with me.  I will miss you for the rest of my life.  It’s so damn unfair that you were taken away.

Love you xx

I wrote an essay for part of my quarterly submission on some extra quals that I am undertaking, and they asked if they could publish it in the ‘Audiology Now” mag.  Pretty chuffed with that!